Lost soul, lost love
by sierraskye
Summary: Why did I wake up with no memory of what happened? Why did I wake up...a monster? What am I? I have to find out... I have to find my bronze haired angel... BPOV. BXE
1. What am I?

_"Bella, I love you..." the velvet voice whispered in my ear, sending chills through my body...  
_

I snapped out of it with a frustrated sigh.

The flashbacks. Over and over again. For the past 75 years. I could still feel the cool touch of the man's lips that were in the random, too real flashbacks.

It was like the man of my "dreams" (not like I've gotten to sleep at all in the past 75 years) icy arms were supposed to be wrapped around me making my heart flutter like a humming bird's wings...

What was I even thinking. I don't even know this cold, beautiful bronze haired golden eyed looks-like-he-was-sent-from-heaven angel. Let alone be dreaming about him. Sigh. The dream guy, quite literally. I had never met him in my life, or.. at least I don't remember if I had. Only in my flashbacks, they were the closest things I had to dreams now, but they always seem so real.

Ya, right. I wish someone like him could fall for me in real life. His words we're always so wonderful and sweet. Compared to the random, short lived, stubborn guys I have dated, My dream guy could only be a dream. Again, for the millionth time for the past 75 long, confusing, soul searching years, I tried, unsuccessfully, to sift through my my mind for any trace of a memory in rainy Forks. Nothing. Like always. I coud only remember getting on the plane to Forks.

No one knows what exactly happened to me exactly. Charlie had the whole town out looking for me 2 days and had finally found me in a meadow, mangled, bloody, and screaming, like gasoline had set on fire in my veins...

When I woke Charlie was standing across the room in the door way just staring. When I had opened my eyes he had gasped with what looked like a mixture of amazement and horror. All in one.

But what was worse, when he got over his shock, and quit gasping, I could hear his heart.. It sent electricity through me when i finally had reliezed I hadn't taken a breath since I had woken. Count to ten Bella, big breaths. On the first breath a sweet smell slammed into me and I felt as if someone had decided it would be cool to knock me over with a wrecking ball. Then came the burning. My throat had felt like I had eaten fire for dinner... What had happened to me?! All in this time Charlie had crossed the room slowy to my bed and started to shake me, I guess he was trying to snap me out of it. His hands we're so warm, they felt good on my cool skin. Then the sweet smell got more intense, and the minute he touched me he jumped back and whispered, "Bella, whats happened to you? Why are your eyes red, and your skin so cold??".

His words shattered through my shock attack I was having and I took control of my senses and my body. A part of me wanted to lunge at my own Father and...I didn't want to face it.. I wanted to sink my teeth into his skin and suck his blood, his life, out of him. NO. I wouldn't let that control me.

"Dad..whats wrong with me?" I slowly had whispered.

"I have no idea, but we have got to get you out of here. Now. Pack your things, your going home to Renee."

"Why?!"

"WHY?! Bella, look in a mirror!"

I got up, and looked in the bathroom mirror and a gorgeous, pale, scarlet eyed woman had stared back at me. It was me, in the mirror. I took a huge gasp, and then the burning wrecking ball hit me again. All at once I flew down the stairs with Charlie yelling telling me to come back, but his words had only been whipsers in the wind to me by then.

I was already out the door and my mouth on a deer within a minute. The blood slowly satiated my burning throat, I had finally dosed the fire. And then I ran. Confused and dazed I didnt know and I didn't care where I was going. But I knew I had to get a hold of what was going on. I had wanted to kill Charlie. I had just dranken blood. What did all of this mean??

I don't know how long i ran, or how long I thought. During this time, all I could think about is all my amazing new abilitys, like being able to out run a car, and horrible new faults. They could only mean one thing... I had read about vampires before. I was sucking blood. I mean, state the obvious, I even had gotten the ruby eyes to top it all off. Great. All I had known then is that I could see no one from my old life. And I had to keep running.

I ran my hair through my hair and remembered how I ended up in Cozenage, Mexico. I had kept running, nights, and dark days until I saw how my skin shined with many colored facets reminding me of an diamond.

"Those were confusing times.." I said to myself out loud. On the inside, I knew, I just knew it, that my dream guy had something to do with how I became like this. Why else would I have so many flashbacks of him.

Ugh. So, here was my ultimatum, the same one I came to every time.

I had to find my bronze haired angel.

**Hey readers! if you read this chapter please review! it'd really help encourage me. :) **

thank you, sierra :)

* * *


	2. Begining the search

"Well, thats everything." I said to myself.

I looked at my very few items I own and laughed at myself. This was going to be a waste of my time... searching for a lost memory, but I was really desperate. When I thought about how I can't remember how i became this...thing, it was like having a itch that I couldn't reach. I just had to know how I turned into well let's face it, a red eyed blood sucking freak,(even though my eye's turned into golden pools of light, with blue shot through them after a year of sticking to whatever I could find, long as it's not human).

How was I going to start this aimless adventure? I thought about it for a minute as I sat down on my small sofa in my even smaller apartment, not that i couldn't afford a mansion or anything, but for one person it was enough.

"Bella..."

I shock went through my head, and my unbeating heart felt like it took a beat. It was his voice... whispering through my head... He was sobbing quietly saying my name. Then I saw him, infront of me.. the bronze haired angel with his head in his hands. Then a small short black haired girl came into the room. "Edward, its been 75 years, you need to forgive yourself."

She had said his name! It was i definit start. The flash back went on.

"Alice I can never, ever forgive myself. I promised her I'd never let happen to her, ever... and I let the Volturi KILL HER!! Do you even know how it feels to be pulled away while the love of your life is being murdered??"

"No I don't. But I do know is that you have to let her go. It was never your fault...

The flashback cut off then. Or was it even a flash back? No, they had been talking about me.. Edward and Alice.. saying that I had died, 75 years ago. This was from the present. This flashback wasn't a flashback at all...this was a vision. But why now? Could everyone like me do this? Asuming there are more like me.. Edward and Alice both were pale and gorgeous, and thinking back on the vision, Alice's eyes were a shining topaz color. What did that mean? Were they both like me?

"I'm not the only one..." I whispered in amazment.

I quickly grabbed my bag and threw it on my back. It had been cold were they were. Very cold, and they looked like they were inside some kind of over-sized cabin. I tried to focus on the details of the vision and pictured it in my head, and then I saw a window, out side of it were pine trees, and snow.

I was going north. But how far north, I thought as i began to run out my apratment door, and went to my car. A lime green lambo, butterfly doors, she was my baby. I jumped in and sped off north, begining the search for my lost soul.

**Hey! this is sierra talking. :) if you read this i would really like it if you reviewed! it'd make my day, seein as this is my first story. and i could really use some input on my writing!! if i do not have 10 reviews i wont update! thank you all! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

_"Bella, you and I will be together forever. My love for you is endless, I would follow you to the ends of the universe just to have a glance at your beauty…" Edward's melodic voice whispered into my ear, making my whole body egnite into flames with desire._

"WATCH IT DUMBASS!!" A driver shot at me, until I rolled down the window and gave him a look that would shake his grandmother in her grave.

Ugh.. Another dream, or were they flashbacks? I swear there were more of them as I drove north. Like the closer I got to him, my body, and soul could tell. Which was honestly kind of maddening. Every inch of me could remember, of ya, except the important part. My brain.

I then stomped on the peddle in frustration, breaking 100 mph easily. Too green, mossy blurs flew by as I drove, then, as of relfecting my mood, it began to rain. How conveineit. I then stomped on the peddle harder, turning the green blurs into nothing more than a wall of green next to me on either side. My lambo had no issues with my anger problems, she purred with satisfaction, willing to give me some excitement. Red, blue added to my overly green blobs rushing by, and I heard a siren that was piercing to my over-sensitive ears.

"You have got to be joking. Can this cop not see the "DANGER: BLOODSUCKER IN CAR, BEWARE" sign on my car? Oh wait, forgot that one at home" I laughed at my joke as I pulled over and waited for the cop to catch up and give me my ticket. Which would no doubt only be money I could use for toliet paper if I liked paper cuts, and bodily functions.

The cop finally pulled behind me, and I noticed something extremely familiar about this cop car… He stepped out, and I swear my heart got sucked into a black hole. It was Charlie? Isn't he dead? It had been 75 years.. Humans grow old, they die. As he got closer, I could tell he had definetly aged… a lot. He shouldn't even be driving a car, let alone have a job. Worry took over my thoughts, who takes car of him? Who saves him from his burnt cooking?

A hard rap on my window shook me out of my motherly trance, and I rolled down the window…


End file.
